Five things you must abandon immediately
- ironic trucker cap
- aviator sunglasses
- “vintage” t-shirt from Urban Outfitters
- cutesy truncated words (“obvs,” “whatevs,” et al.)
- back tattoos of fanciful creatures
That about sums up my current impression of Virginia Tech students.
Just in the past two weeks, the student body has been overtaken by faux retro t-shirts, like everybody but me got their Hipster In A Box™ delivery on September 1. It turns out that these are from Urban Outfitters (a store of which I’ve heard, but that’s the extent of my knowledge), who sells them for a whopping $28 a shot.
They’re taking low quality (though perfectly good) t-shirts, printing stock clipart and chipper phrases on them, running them through cement mixers with chunks of rock, shrinking them under intense heat, and then selling them at 1,000% of what it would cost for the real McCoy at a secondhand store. It is my fervent hope that the post modern irony of all of this is properly appreciated by somebody at Urban Outfitters. Lord knows that these kids don’t get it.