I have devised a method of discriminating between meaningful, worthwhile purchases and the acquisition of useless crap.
There are a variety of adjectives available to describe any number of things that one might purchase. A pair of pants could be described as “cool,” a handgun as “awesome,” a potted plant as “pretty,” or a puppy as “cute.”
But there is another class of purchases for which only one adjective is likely to be used. This group includes, among other things:
- sets of teaspoons not intended to be used
- indoor fountains
- framed Bible passages with corresponding illustrations
- decorative throws
- items of clothing not intended to be worn
- anything advertised on television with five easy payments
- anything bought at a yard sale
- anything cat themed
- anything labeled as “collectible”
- damned near anything bought on eBay
- anything made of macrame
- anything commemorating the death of Dale Earnhardt
What do all of these things have in common? They are all best described as “neat.”
This is the litmus test. If the first word that you reach for when attempting to describe a desired or a recent purchase is “neat,” then you don’t need it, and you shouldn’t buy it.
You’ll thank me one day.