Please don’t take it personally, but I cannot get you tickets to the April 21st Dave Matthews Band concert. Yes, I know that they go on sale Friday, and I know that it will be difficult to get tickets. I am familiar with the fact that they haven’t played here in half a decade, and I can understand that you’d really like to see them.
That’s true, yes, I do help run a fan site. It is, if the truth be told, the best fan site on the ‘net. But, see, it’s a just a fan site. This endows me with no superpowers.
I’m sorry about that. Well, I guess I’ll see you in line on Friday.
Excuse me?
That’s right, yes. In line.
To get tickets.
Right, I’ll be in line to get tickets, and maybe I’ll see you then.
Er…yes..of course I’ll be buying them.
Why won’t the band give me tickets? Well, see, there’s 37,000 people in this town, and all of them believe that they are personally owed tickets. That’s why tickets go on sale on Friday. To keep people like me from calling Red Light Management and asking if maybe I could get a few tickets please if it’s not too much trouble. I don’t think that anybody at RLM has any particular love for me, so I’ll stand in line like the normal person that I am.
Right.
That’s it. You’ve got it.
Sooo…see you in line on Friday?