Wow — things happen quick. After hounding VH1 for weeks and weeks, they finally got back to me. They’re sending one person from nancies.org out to L.A., all expenses paid. We took a straw poll on nancies.org, didn’t really come to a great conclusion, but John called me today and said, essentially, “you should go before I should go.”
So I called, and they’re setting up the travel arrangements. I leave Thursday morning and come back Friday night. I’ve never flown over land much. (You know, I’ve done the Europe thing a few times. Oh, and I flew back from Boston after I broke my feet hiking Maine.) And I’ve never been west of the Mississippi. (Well, I went to Minnesota one summer with Boy Scouts.) I went to Ohio a couple of times to visit Kenyon. I went to Nashville with my family. That’s pretty much the extent of my westward trips. I really hope that I get a window seat; it’s dorky, but I love looking out the window. It’s kind of boring over most of the Atlantic, but it’s fantastic over land. I wonder if I’ll fly something better than coach? That would be sweet.
I’d hoped to walk or bicycle to California the first time that I went there. Oh, well.
The prospect of being on TV and up on that stage is supposed to excite me, but it honestly doesn’t do much for me. Maybe it will at the time. Maybe I’ll piss myself on national television. Maybe I’ll forget to thank somebody. Maybe I just won’t be on TV at all, which seems pretty likely.
Embarassment is likely. VH1 has a big list of all of the famous people that will be there. Of those famous people, here are the ones that I’ve either never heard of, or I only know the name: No Doubt, Creed, Christina Aguilera, John Leguizamo, David Alan Grier, Lara Flynn Boyle, Sean Hayes, Megan Mullally, Jennifer Lopez, Jenna Elfman, Mark McGrath, Scott Weiland, Vanessa Williams… OK, I just got bored naming guest presenters. I’m hoping that I’ll meet Limp Bizkit (of whom I know absolutely, positively nothing, except that I think that have a really awful name.)
I envision my conversation being something like this:
LIMP BISQUETTE: So, who are you?
WALDO: I run a music website. Who are you?
LB: I’m in a Limp Biscuit.
W: Who?
LB: Limp Biscuit. You know, the band.
W: Oh, that’s nice. What kind of music does Flaccid Waffle play?
LB: Uh…it’s Limp Biscuit. You know, we play [insert musical style here.]
W: I’m very proud of ya’. Is Floopy Pop-Over well-known?
LB: Actually, yes, we’re world-famous and we could own you.
W: Sorry, Mr. Flexible Teacake, but I’m not for sale.
I think that I should definitely go to sleep, now that it’s 1am. I’m going nowhere with this.