Disney to rebuild the “Small World” ride.

Americans are simply too fat to ride it now. The Pirates of the Caribbean, Pinocchio and Alice In Wonderland rides all require similar overhauls.

Published by Waldo Jaquith

Waldo Jaquith (JAKE-with) is an open government technologist who lives near Char­lottes­­ville, VA, USA. more »

4 replies on “Disney to rebuild the “Small World” ride.”

  1. The airlines’ seats are and were too narrow even when I was narrower and fit enough to be on active duty in the USAF. The problem is not the butt width, but the shoulder width.

    Having said that – it is scary that Disney has to do something for it’s two minute ride customers and the airlines don’t care to for their multi-hour ride customers…

    And even scarier that Disney would need to contemplate this at all.
    Step back from the computers and go for a walk.

  2. Floating gondolas, filled with happy, smiling people humming along to the hopeful chorus of world cooperation…now hard aground on the bottom, overloaded with indulgent excess. Miserable, confused, angry and disillusioned, they scream, “this ride sucks”, give us the load-bearing capacity and simple fear-induced thrill of a roll coaster! Back to the basics of adrenaline-induced dread.

    Disney should burn this ride to the ground and replace it with a loud, metal-grinding, and dark sulfurous smoke-filled pyroclastic attraction, fill the canal with steaming crude oil, and seat the riders in armored cars, hand each a dragon skin and the religious text of their choice. Call it “Terror World”.

  3. They regularly revise these rides every few years, actually, changing the small details (although rarely re-doing something as technical as the cart-boats you ride in)

    For instance, when the first “Pirates of the Carribean” movie was a surprise smash-success, they re-did the sets on the ride to contain characters from the film, references to Johnny Depp, etc.

    My favorite change has always been this one: Back in the day, in the pirate-port-town room, there used to be a particular animatronic pirate character who would chase a shapely animatronic maiden in a circle around a barrel; some time in the 90’s the Disney folks finally got around to realizing that they were essentially cartoonizing and sanitizing sexual assault, so they replaced these characters with… an overweight maiden who was chasing the pirate instead.

    I guess saying that fat people are unattractive is ultimately less offensive than condoning rape, but it’s still sort of laughably offensive. thanks, Disney!

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