Here’s a weird bit from an e-mail sent to Kilgore supporters today:
[P]lease agree to place a Kilgore for Governor bumper sticker on your car. Senator George Allen routinely reminds us that a bumper sticker is worth $200 in free advertising or $300 if on a pick-up truck or S.U.V.
I’ve certainly heard Allen’s bumper sticker maxim, but the SUV markup is news to me.
Perhaps it’s a result of all that rampant homosexuality in George Allen’s office?
Waldo, I think the idea there is that the higher elevation of trucks and SUV’s equals more visibility.
Ooh, I like where this is going.
So if Republicans drive big ol’ SUVs and put Republican bumper stickers on their bumper, 4′ in the air, the rest of us peons (Democrats and centrists) down in our small, efficient, not-funding-terrorism cars find those stickers right at eye level. They’re no more visible than normal to fellow Republicans (remembering that all of our Republicans are in SUVs), but they’re highly visible to centrists and Democrats (in their little cars), which is the group to which Republicans need to appeal.
For reasons entirely related to homeownership, I’ve just sold my old Jetta and bought a new pickup truck (the relatively fuel efficient Mazda B2300). I’ve also just requested my Tim Kaine sticker through the website, so now my truck is subversive?
Well done, John — we’ll dismantle their secret SUV-sticker-network yet.
Do people even put bumper stickers on their bumpers anymore? I don’t put bumper stickers anywhere on my car, but I usually see them on the back windshield. Which makes sense, since (a) they’re more visible there and (b) it’s easier to remove the sticker from glass after the election than from chrome/plastic–as most Virginians know from their annual county/city sticker ritual.
Besides, I think the underlying motive of the Allen cliche is that soccer moms and rednecks drive SUVs and pickups (pick which group drives which), and (a) they’re more inclined to vote Republican, or are more likely to vote, or are the Republican target demographic, or all three, and (b) there’s a herd mentality that if a pickup/SUV driver sees another pickup/SUV driver with a “Smith for Mud Board”* bumper sticker, the viewing driver will find some kinship with the displaying driver based on vehicle that will pique the viewing driver’s interest in Smith. Or the mud board. Or something like that.
*”Mud board,” meaning “soil and water conservation board,” is a registered trademark of GOP consultant Jeff Ryer.
Waldo, Jesus F^@&ing Christ. You always gotta go down the “SUV’s support terrorism route don’t you. So riddle me this: If a soldier comes back from Afghanistan and drives his SUV home from the air base, does he support or fight terrorism?
John, Your sneaky tactics will prove true. The secret’s out. You win :)
JD, my explanation was more simple, but yours makes more sense…I concede.
Riddle me this: If a pro-bowling advocate burns down a bowling alley, does he support or fight bowling?
If an opponent of shoes rides a shoed horse, does he support or fight shoes?
If President Bush sends a quarter of a million men into the wrong country, killing 1,800 people in the process, does he support or oppose the troops?
My head is spinning!
That reminds me of the Iran/Contra-era George Carlin question: If a fire fighter fights fires, and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
SUVs do support terrorism more so than vehicles that suck less fuel. Even the neo-cons have figured this out. True neo-conservative intellectuals in Washington are all driving Priuses now because of this. I swear that I am not making this up. This is no longer exclusively a liberal perspective. The people who tell Republicans what to think are now in agreement with Democrats on the SUV/terrorism question.
Disclaimer: I drive an 1989 pickup with a 4 liter, 6 cylinder engine. But I only put about 2,000 miles a year on it. Driving an old vehicle for occasional use that gets lousy milage probably results in my using less petroleum than would be used by scrapping the truck and manufacturing a new Ford Focus. Lots of oil is used in the production of new cars. Better to continue amortizing that oil which was already imported and burned 16 years ago.
Perhaps now would be a good time to plug for Tim Kaine stickers? http://www.raisingkaine.com/blog/?p=494
If you want one, let me know. sam [at] raisingkaine [dot] com
Sam, can I get a decoder ring with that sticker?
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