I like my apartment just fine. I like its convenient downtown location, right on Main Street. I like that it’s over retail establishments. I even appreciate that one of those establishments is a bar/concert venue. But what I don’t appreciate is my new discovery: the woo girls.

At 1am, my eyes are getting heavy, having been lying down in bed and reading. I turn off the light, roll over, and start to drift into sleep, when, suddenly: “WooOOOoooooOOOOoooo!” The girls are leaving the bars.

If I open the blinds, I can see groups of 2-4 girls staggering across the parking lot to campus or to their cars. If I open the window, I can overhear their conversations. Often, they’re mundane. Neither their words nor their actions provide any apparent warning or indication for what comes next: “Woooooooo!” Sometimes it’s just one of them, sometimes one starts off and another one joins in, much like coyotes in heat. I think, for what it’s worth, that is a metaphor that stands up. It seems that if a male responds with his own woo (or the more popular “Oww!”), that’s his response to the females’ mating call. The females get together with the males and often walk off together.

This is a phenomenon of which I’d read, but I had never actually witnessed. I have considered wooing back at them out of my window, but I don’t want to give the wrong signals. I may try mooing; if they’re sufficiently drunk, it would at least confuse them.

Today I’m making a trip to the store. (I have no idea what store. I’m new here.) I’m buying thick, thick curtains that should muffle the sound.

If you can’t join ’em, beat ’em.

Published by Waldo Jaquith

Waldo Jaquith (JAKE-with) is an open government technologist who lives near Char­lottes­­ville, VA, USA. more »