This is my fish. His name is Charlie. He’s a Betta. I wanted a pet, but they’re not allowed in my apartment. Anything more complex than a fish, I’d kill and feel bad about it, anyhow. I speak to Charlie only in French. Which is fine, because he’s fairly stupid, being a fish, so the talking itself is pretty much unnecessary. It helps me brush up on my French. Plus, I like saying “poisson.”