Vote for Thomas Jefferson in the 57th.

Clement “Kim” Tingley, Republican Democrat (unlike in 2003, when he gave $91,780 to Virginia Republicans through his Homebuilders Association of VA PAC), has a high-larious new advertisement that just has to be seen to be believed.

Tingley Video CaptureThe video is narrated by none other than Thomas Jefferson, rendered as a construction paper puppet, like something Trey Parker and Matt Stone might come up with while drunk. The first thirty seconds are introduction to who Thomas Jefferson is. Now, maybe I’m going out on a limb here, but I figure that anybody in Charlottesville over the age of conception probably knows just about everything there is to know about our hometown hero. I imagine that he still seems like a pretty exciting fellow to Mr. Tingley, though, since he just moved here, like, a year ago or something.

Holy shit, Thomas Jefferson built Monticello? Dude! I thought that was Dave Matthews!

Mr. Jefferson goes on to talk all about Tingley, and how he’s such a bad-ass progressive who is not, in fact, a developer, but actually a “builder.” This is much like Fidel Castro, who says that he is not, in fact, a dictator, but actually a “Danish Boy Scout troop leader.” Sadly, Mr. Jefferson’s crippling debt prevents him from renting any studio time, so he pops his Ps and muffles his Ss clear through the ad. After Mr. Jefferson finishes singing Tingley’s praises, he concludes by saying: “You might say that Kim Tingley is my kind of Delegate.”

Then comes the knee-slapping voiceover tagline, spoken as Tingley stares ahead, trying his best not to give that Frankenstein stare: “I’m Thomas Jefferson, and I approved this message.”

Ha! Oh, man, that’s great. Because I expected the disclaimer, and it came, but it was different. Because it wasn’t Tingley. It was still Jefferson! Instead of Tingley! It turns the whole thing on its head! I was like “where’s the disclaimer” and then, wham, there came Jefferson. And nobody’s ever done that before. That is so fresh. I wonder if he writes his own material?

Oh, man. Ha.

Whoo…

A close second for hijinx goes to the “Constitutional Rights” video, which is a 30-second ad about gay rights in which he awkwardly manages to never once utter the words “gay” or “homosexual.” I think that, in his next ad, he should try to do it without using the letter “e.”

Tingly can do it. I know h can.

Published by Waldo Jaquith

Waldo Jaquith (JAKE-with) is an open government technologist who lives near Char­lottes­­ville, VA, USA. more »

7 replies on “Vote for Thomas Jefferson in the 57th.”

  1. Is that running on television in the C’ville area? That’s just pathetic.

    Who’s he talking about in the constitutional video? He’s so vague, I’m not sure.

  2. Is that running on television in the C’ville area?

    I don’t know — that’s a good question. Our antenna broke (one of the rabbit ears is gone), so we mostly get static now. :) It seems kind of weird to have a video produced just for a website for a tiny little downticket race with neither heat nor light. (It’s not like people are talking about this race all over the state or anything.)

  3. Dear lord. I made better commercials than that with a 133 mHz PC in my early college days (once again… sophmore year
    …) If you’re going to do a video, do a good one. And really, it’s not that hard to do a good one.

  4. HBA gave exactly in proportion to the incumbency ratio in 2003. They gave $91,780 to Republicans (61%) and $57,552 to Democrats (39%).

    There’s also the larger issue of whether Mr. Tingley was speaking for himself of for the association.

    HBA donations

    I’m following this race pretty closely, and it seems like people are concerned that Collins and Tingley will split the progressive vote. That would leave Toscano as the choice of the moderate community.

  5. Wow, that’s astonishingly… hilariously.. fascinatingly awful. If I pass my drug test, I’m going to get messed up and watch it over and over.

  6. You know – it is kind of cool that he has so many videos about his issues. Never would have seen them without the old TJ video.

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